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Characterfest interview # 14 with Rammel Hawkings by Victoria Danann



A Conversation (Intervention) with Rammel Hawking


me: Sir Hawking, it's such a pleasure to get to interview you in person.

Ram: (third finger)

me: (sigh) Okay. What is this about?

Ram: Well, forgive me if I do no' sound polite, but I can no' say 'tis a pleasure bein' interviewed by you.

me: Why not?

Ram: Why no' indeed. I only agreed because of the chance to say fuck you in person.

me: Okay. What exactly is the problem? You did end up with everything you ever wanted, didn't you?

Ram: Aye. No' denyin' that. My problem is not with endin's. 'Tis with the bloody well fucked up middles.

me: I see.

Ram: No. You do no' see. You sit there in your tidy, little, safe, air conditioned version of reality without a single bloody care for what you are puttin'  me through. Have you ever had a broken rib? It hurts! Do you know that?


me: Well, I...

Ram: You write like 'tis nothin'. And 'tis nothin' compared to a concussion and a hundred and forty three stitches. How would you like to have to face your mother lookin' like that?

me: Um, that doesn't happen until Book Two, The Witch's Dream which was just released today.

Ram: So just because they have no' read about it yet means it did no' happen? (chuffs) My mother cried for hours when she saw me lookin' like this. That was a bloody fun time I can tell you.

me: I'm, uh, sorry. I didn't realize she would take it so hard...

Ram: Come to think of it, I should have brought her with me. (evil smile)

And what about that bit between me and my da - when he asks how the other fella looks? And you make me say the other fella got away with no' so much as a scratch? To add insult to injury you made me smile while I said it! So then he asks me to explain how it happened and I have to tell the fuck all, king da' of Elfdom that I got a hundred and forty three stitches in a knife fight in a bar!

me: (sigh) I admit that was an understatement but, technically, it was true. You did sustain your injuries in a knife fight in a bar.

Ram: (gaping) You are cold as Paddy's feet on a February morn.

me:  Now wait a minute...

Ram: Just gettin' started.  

me: Oh here we go. (Muttering to myself at this point.)

Ram: Can you even begin to imagine that three months feels like an eternity when you're an elf waitin' on his mate to make up her mind?

me: Well, I have a pretty good imagination...

Ram: Oh? You can imagine how it feels to have a ragin' cockstand for weeks on end that does no' even wane when you sleep? Balls achin' like they're bein' squeezed. Just how is it exactly that you can imagine that, Mistress? How about this one? Can you imagine how it feels to wake and find your love lookin' back at you with vampire blues? Let me tell you how it feels. Your insides go completely cold. When that chemical hits the bloodstream it truly does feel like ice in your veins.

me: I'm sure that was a very unpleasant experience...

Ram: Unpleasant? You really are a stonehearted bitch. I feel like kickin' the legs out from under your chair.

 me: (Trying not to laugh.) I was feeling really bad for you, and a little guilty, right up until you just threatened to dump me on my can. Which was very un-knight-like behavior. I never would have written you that way.

Ram: Oh no? Well, I have a surprise or two and here's the first. You're fired.  

me: You can't fire me, Ram. I'm the Creator.

Ram: You know, you sounded just like her when you said that. 'Tis very disconcertin'.

me: Well, you know there's probably something of me in every one of the characters.  

Ram: Characters, is it? "Tis all we are to you? (Looks like his feelings are hurt then curses in Irish under his breath.) Right. Well, that explains a lot. You want to know who's the real villain in your stupid stories?

me: I see where you're going with this, but, Rammel, writing villains is not the same thing as being a villain. My stories are just a reflection of life.

Ram: (sneers) Aye. A House of Mirrors reflection.  

me: Well, yes. Otherwise, it's called the daily news. How about this? I'll give you a reprieve and visit the less pleasant stuff on somebody else for awhile.

Ram: You do no' seem to be gettin' it. 'Tis no' up to you anymore. Consider this an intervention. You're hurtin' people. 'Tis goin' to stop. 

me: Okay, look, everything you say is true, but you've left out the other side. And I really do love you. Probably more than any other of you, uh...

Ram: (narrows his eyes) ...characters. I might be willin' to let bygones go, but it works both ways.

me: What does?

Ram: I know what you're thinkin'. I heard your twisted mind riflin' through possibles and sortin' out what you're plannin' to do to us in Book Three.

me: You did? (I swallow.)

Ram: Aye. And some of it 'tis nothin' less than sick. We're all thinkin' perhaps 'tis time for you to see someone.

(My husband walked in just as I was concluding this interview. He asked what I was doing and, without really thinking it through, I made the mistake of telling him the truth after which he replied that he had always wondered how I can be content to be alone for extended periods of time only to find out that I only appeared to be by myself.)





My Familiar Stranger, By Victoria Danann

The Order of the Black Swan #1

Genre: Adult Paranormal Romance, Paranormal Fantasy
Publisher: 7th House
Date of Publication: April 21, 2012
ebook ISBN: 978-1-933320-49-6       ASIN: B007V8RAKW

Date of Publication: August 31, 2012 
print ISBN: 978-1-933320-77-9                     ASIN: to be assigned

Number of pages: 370
Word Count: 111,000

Purchase Links: Amazon 


Book Description:

A secret society, hot guys, and vampires come together for a once in a lifetime adventure and a once in a lifetime opportunity proving that true love can find you in the strangest places, even far, far from home.

Minutes ahead of inevitable assassination, Elora Laiken is forcibly transported to an alternate dimension similar, but not identical, to her own.

Of course a girl could suffer worse problems than having gorgeous suitors. Perhaps more importantly, in the midst of an epidemic of vampire related abductions, can she stay alive long enough to choose between an honor debt, true love, or the breathlessness of single-minded passion?

My Familiar Stranger is a full length, stand alone, Paranormal Romance novel that also sets up the foundation for the Black Swan series. It is loved by fans of paranormal romance, fantasy romance, and urban fantasy.
Erotic quotient: A few steamy scenes. No menage. No BDSM.

 


The Witch's Dream, By Victoria Danann

The Order of the Black Swan #2 Fantasy for Adults

Genre: Adult Paranormal Romance, Paranormal Fantasy
Publisher: 7th House
Release Date: October 14, 2012

ebook ISBN: 978-1-933320-56-4       ASIN: to be assigned 10/06/12
print    ISBN: 978-1-933320-63-2      ASIN: to be assigned 10/06/12

Words: 97,000
Pages: 260

BOOK TRAILER: to be released 10/01/12


BOOK DESCRIPTION:

He was left behind when Elora Laiken made her choice. Now he’s had it with love, but a transplanted witch who happens to be the world’s best tracker hopes she can change his mind.
The Witch’s Dream begins with B Team on loan for temporary assignment to Black Swan headquarters in Edinburgh where they are supposed to fill in for stretched-thin resources and assist with a werewolf issue. They’ve been given permission to stop in Ireland for a few days and help Ram and Elora celebrate their handfasting at the palace in Derry.
When they reach Edinburgh, the afterglow of an elftale wedding quickly turns all business. A missing person report turns into a demon abduction. A simple werewolf sanction becomes a diplomatic issue requiring the one thing Elora is no longer willing to give - finesse. From New York to Ireland to Edinburgh to Siena to the Texas Hill Country to Napa Valley. From promises to rages to hunts to epiphanies.
This is a story that proves true love can find you when you’re least expecting it – even when you’re far, far from home.
Erotic quotient: A few steamy scenes. No menage. No BDSM.
RELEASE DAY GIVEAWAY:   (Witch's Dream) World of Black Swan Mousepad.

Author Bio: 

For the past thirteen years, Victoria has illustrated and authored Seasons of the Witch calendars and planners.

Though works of fiction are a departure for her, she has had this series simmering on the back burner of her mind for years. In addition to authoring and illustrating Seasons of the Witch, she plays rock music and manages one of Houston's premier R&B/Variety/Pop bands.

This series will eventually include some of my actual experience in the paranormal with fictionalized anecdotes from my journals during the years when I was a practicing "metaphysician", but most of the material is fantasy - of course,










Comments

  1. Ram is soo dramatic... he got the girl, damn it! BUT he amuses...gotta love him!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Helen, Come back to the party and vote for Baka.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hilarious - perfect Rammel 100% all him with that perfect brogue!

    ReplyDelete

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