RP: Good morning/day/evening to all of you lovely readers out there. Today we have a special treat for you. Somehow I have managed to coax the one and only, Ezekiel Lanistter out of his dungeons for an interview!
ZL: Please, just call me Zeke, Robyn.
RP: (with a nervous chuckle) I sense a bit of annoyance, so I shall just dive right in. So, Zeke. What makes you special?
ZL: (smirking) Special? We Lanistters are not ‘special,’ Robyn. We are, simply put, above the rest.
RP: (nodding slowly) I see. So the only thing that stands out about you is your family name?
ZL: (tilting his head with a too-sweet smile) If you keep pressing my buttons, you shall find out just what stands out about me in my world, dear.
RP: (clears throat and shuffles notecards) I-I see. Alrighty then. (glances down at notecards) Can you just tell the readers a little bit about yourself, then?
ZL: (sighs) I like to think that I’m a decent person… (chuckles to himself) No, that’s a lie. I can’t very well try to fool you of all people with that, now can I? No matter. I am the head of the European branch of the Lanistter family. The Lanistters are the royal family of the vampire world, and we have been reigning since my grandfather, Lazarus Lanistter, decided that our world was too chaotic. It was his mission to end the days where vampires merely took what blood they wanted from humans without fear of consequence, and I think that he did a damned good job of it. (pauses, blinking rapidly) Somehow I have managed to not talk about myself…
RP: (leaning forward) No, no, that’s just fine! I’m sure everyone is interested in hearing about your family history. (tilts head) I mean, just because I know everything about you, doesn’t mean they do.
ZL: (appears startled) You… You say you know everything about me?
RP: (averts gaze, giggling nervously) No, of course not, Zeke. Now, continue. Tell us all about your family.
ZL: (narrowing eyes at me) Okay… Let’s see. There is Lazarus Lanistter, who married Marie. However, Marie is not my grandmother, as my idiot grandfather had an affair with one Illyana Keaton to produce Tywin Lanistter. Tywin married my lovely mother Rose, may she rest in peace, and they produced four boys. Me, Wyatt, Dmitri, and Reid. (begins ticking each name off on his fingers) On the other side of the ocean, in America, Lazarus and Marie produced Alberon and Gregory Lanistter. There was a bit of a feud between the two over the throne for a while, but you shall find out more about that later. (smirking)
RP: Now, before I let you get too carried away with that, I’ll stop you there. That is definitely a story for another time. Moving on… Ah, yes. So I heard some things through the grapevine about you, Mr. Lanistter… Is it true that you are a Sadist?
ZL: (appears startled for a moment) What does my personal life have to do with this? I understand you asking about my family, because they are important – not that I am unimportant, of course – but what goes on in my private life is just that: private.
RP: (grinning) So I’ll take that as a confession of sorts.
ZL: (sighs, before a mischievous gleam appears in his eyes) If you are truly so interested, there must be a reason. (leans forward in his chair until his face is close to mine) Is it that you are hoping that I am, in fact, a Sadist, so that you might be able to take pleasure in what I do?
RP: (eyes widen) I never said that! It’s just that, well… I think it is a valid question. We all know you beat women, but what kind of enjoyment do you take from it?
ZL: (chuckles) I do rather enjoy it, Miss Pierce. Only a few lucky specimen thus far have managed to reap the ah… Benefits of my hobby, however.
RP: (nodding) So it’s true then…
ZL: (waiting patiently for me to continue) … (sighs) What’s true?
RP: (smirks) It’s true that you’ve gone soft in your old age, of course.
ZL: (sputters for a few moments before recomposing himself, clearing his throat) Why, of course I haven’t gone soft, Miss Pierce. Anyone spreading such vicious lies about me shall face my wrath. (smiles sweetly) So I would suggest that you do not say that again.
RP: (clears throat) But you’ve let some women live in order to ah, have your way with them, have you not?
ZL: (frowns) I don’t see how my prolonging the lives of a few women here and there implies that I’ve gone soft. And anyway, in the end, they all have died, regardless of me bedding them or not.
RP: Ah, but that isn’t entirely true, is it, Zeke?
ZL: (sighs) What now, woman? What are you accusing me of lying about this time?
RP: (giggling) Not every woman you’ve beaten has died. I know of at least two women who have kept their lives, which brings me to my next question… How do you really feel about a certain Elyssa Smith’s presence in the Lanistter Castle?
ZL: (clenches his jaw visibly) Her mere presence makes my blood boil, and I would like nothing more than to rip her head off most of the time.
RP: (arches eyebrows) Most of the time, you say? So is there a time when you don’t want to?
ZL: (narrows eyes) Where are you going with this…?
RP: (shrugging) Nowhere, I suppose. Elyssa just seems to be such a sensitive topic for you, and I was just wondering why that was. When you said you wish to rip her head off, that seemed to cover it. Except that you went on to say you only feel that way most of the time…
RP: And, if you only feel that way most of the time, it leads me to wonder… Could it be that you have feelings for Elyssa that you wish to bury?
ZL: (abruptly stands up and lunges at me) That’s it. (cheerful tone) You’ve managed to press all of the buttons you should have avoided, woman… (glances over his shoulder at the audience) And thank you very much for having us today, BittenByParanormalRomance. It has been a pleasure.
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